Dark TimesI woke up just the other day, with the worst feeling of impending doom. I felt as though I was falling but I also had the feeling that I would never land. It took me a few days to rationalize that I have been going through my own sort of dark ages. I would love to spark my own Renaissance but quite frankly I don't even know where to begin. I have not been reading, I have not been writing, I have not been using my camera, I have not been sketching, and I certainly have not crocheting. Although, after reading that sentence I realize that perhaps I have too many interests. I am not quite sure if that is a bad thing, but perhaps I should narrow my list of interests and only put a focus on a few. The perfectionist in me wants so badly to be a jack of all trades, a true Renaissance woman, but I also wanted to be an astrophysicist and we all know that it isn't happening (I am happy living debt free, thank you). I do have a plan though, I just need help staying accountable. I have a nasty habit thinking of everything I would like to do, rather than actually doing them. Here are my more art related projects:
- I want to start reading all the classics. I honestly had the idea of using shmoop, or spark notes as my reading list. I am not daft enough to rely on those sites to summarize and analyze my reading, but I figured those sites would make a wonderful reading list. Do you disagree? I generally just read modern works (before my dark ages, I was binging on Stephen King) but I figure the classics would dramatically improve my comprehension skills, vocabulary, as well as writing skills. I am not worried about the price of the books, but I am more worried about the time it will take to actually read them.
The next few "projects" I want to start are health related:
- I want to start a 365 photography project. I have the most beautiful DSLR stashed away in my closet, and I want to use it so bad. It is the best camera (and most expensive) I have ever owned and yet I have barely used it. I don't even know where to start on that; it seems too overwhelming to come up with a publishable picture every single day. The benefits of taking a photo every single day certainly do out weight the negatives. The negatives being the time I must dedicate to the project, and benefits being the skills I will gain as a photographer.
- I want to start drinking more water, as it is right now, I am only drinking about half a gallon of water each day but I want to try and drink at least a gallon. I know it would help as I live in such a dry climate and I dehydrate easily. I feel with my half a gallon I am just barely making it by with out feeling dehydrated.
- I want to begin meditating (at least once a day). I recently watched a documentary about how devastating the effects of stress can be on the body so I want to help reverse that. I figure meditating will help keep my stress free, help my depression and anxiety, and help me be a happier person in general.
- I want to start exercising 3 days a week. I feel tired, and sluggish, self-conscious, and I have a lot of weight to lose. I have already taken the step to eating better but even I know that is not enough. I've been watching My 600lb. Life on TLC and I am deathly afraid of becoming like those people. The last time I weighed myself I weighed just over 250 lbs. I had been gained weight so fast ever since a certain incident happened when I was 16 (I was about 110-120 lbs then). Now I am 22 and I got take control of my body or else I will be like those people. I do not expect to be 110lbs ever again but I would be quite comfortable and happy at maybe 130lbs to 150lbs.
I think my biggest problem with all of these ideas is the amount of time I will have dedicate to each project. I already feel crunched for time between school, work, and my relationship with Mikey. But perhaps I am just being lazy. I willingly admit, I spend too much time browsing the internet, and watching my shows. I am not quite sure how to keep myself accountable for any of my projects, and I not quite sure how to balance my time between all of these things.
Any ideas, or words of advice? Am I trying to do to much at once?
In other news
Work and school are going along just fine (in fact I need to clock back in for work in 13 minutes). I have all A's at the moment and I am hoping to keep that up the rest of the semester.
Mike's house is still in limbo. The devil is still taking her sweet time getting back to her lawyer. I believe Mike and I are going to ask our lawyer to start pushing issue much harder because we have been waiting too long with nothing happening.
Well I should be going now. Bye!